


(you have become a) constant

by cori_the_bloody



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Stream of Consciousness, oh no i've popped the fic bubble for a new fandom, there's no telling what'll happen now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24280279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cori_the_bloody/pseuds/cori_the_bloody
Summary: Without headphones and a proper distraction for the bus ride home, Ben compiles a list of weird things he easily might have said to Devi while drunk on Grigio.
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 16
Kudos: 151





	(you have become a) constant

_I keep my copy of our pact tacked above my desk._

_I remember when you used to sign your name without so many loop-de-loops._

_I know you trained yourself to write it like that._

_You started in sixth grade. I remember because Fabiola got boobs before you did and you threw a whole freaking fit about wanting your own thing that’d make the guys in our grade think you were girly enough to ask you to a dance._

_Sometimes when I look at your signature, I think about how long it took you to write it—we were sitting in Mrs. Fink’s classroom, which had the desks with the baskets underneath and I kept kicking yours because you were taking forever and you kept having to start over because you claimed I was shaking the desk too much. You can see all the places you hesitated because the ink is a little darker, the strokes a little thicker._

_You changed your own handwriting—something so fundamental to a person, you can submit it as evidence in a court of law—and that pretty much sums up everything I respect about you._

_I respect you, Devi. Despite all the evidence to the contrary._

_Actually, I go out of my way to act like I don’t because it makes you mad, and sparring with you is kind of the highlight of my, well…definitely my academic career. But maybe my life in general._

_Sometimes I imagine telling you I’ve been faking it all these years._

_In these stupid, hypothetical conversations I’m always having with you, sometimes you admit you’ve been faking it, too._

_Sometimes you set fire to one of my textbooks, because these conversations have absolutely no basis in reality and you can become pyrokinetic at the drop of the hat. Obviously._

_Even less realistic, sometimes you kiss me for telling the truth._

_I kind of think about what it’d be like to kiss you a lot._

_I’m thinking about it now…last night. Whatever._

_Speaking of how often you’re on my mind, I have this recurring dream—this sounds dirty but I swear it’s not like that, okay, just listen—where I’m following Shira through classroom after classroom trying to catch up with her and the faster I try to move, the slower I go, until a pit opens up in the ground and I fall through it and there she is but the second I grab her it’s you. What do you think that means?_

_Okay, one time I did have the other kind of dream about you. But even drunk, I’d never reveal the details. Right? If I had, you’d probably be way less mad and way more smug._

_Which is a good look for you._

_Like, don’t mistake me, nothing is worth losing a trophy to you. But there’s still_ something _to the way you strut around for weeks after. It’s harder to look away from you._

_You’ve always been dorky and too intense but lately…it’s getting harder to look away._


End file.
